the meaning of ziHar vis-à-vis Q58 V2

Now that we are done with V1, in V2 of Q58, Allah shows disdain for doing Zihar, and states how much of a vice it is. Zihar, also known as the practice of saying you are like my mother’s back to me, has its root alphabets as zo, Hao, and ra. And 12 forms of the word was used 59 times in the Quran.

ZiHar is said of the extra camel that is taken along in case it is needed, and so its purpose is not primary or germane, it is a secondary and unimportant one if at all.

Where and when one knows that a camel is enough to bring along for the task at hand, but brings along two camels; the second camel is ziHar. It would get nothing, it’s just tagged along, perhaps just for show off, perhaps just for unforeseen circumstance if such need arises, perhaps just to punish the said camel, she is carried along without use or purpose. For whatever reason that the herder decides to bring along the second behind the ‘back’ of the first, she is brought along and she is known as ziHar.

And so from that idea flows the meaning of ziHar to mean back, rear, backer, to back up, to neglect, to turn one’s back on, to carry on one’s back, outside, exterior, external, and the list goes on and on depending on the context the word is used.

So in pre-Islamic Arabia, when one said to his spouse that she is now like his mother’s back to him, it means that she has basically become forbidden for him just as his mother’s back is forbidden for him. For context; if we remember in the piece before this, Khuwaylah spoke of how he said because she cannot bear children anymore, so ‘no point’ in having sexual intercourse with her; she’s gotten old, and so she’s not as beautiful, and she’s not as strong to trade as she used to in her youth and all. And so to him, or any of the bedouin that declared ziHar on their women, there is no point in remaining married to the woman; and so going back to the classical meaning of the word, they aren’t important, germane, or priority. No need to prioritize their needs, they are just a tag along if anything.

And so from this understanding, one realizes the place Khuwaylah was coming from in a cultural and ethical front. She wasn’t working from an established fiqh perspective, but she was sure that this was a wrong, and if no law has been made about it, one must be made; and she was right.

Now, in most translations, they say ‘pronounce’ even though no word is added to ziHar to suggest the limitation of ziHar to pronouncements, because as we have seen through understanding how ziHar came to be, it need not be pronounced for it to be exemplified. One need not pronounce ziHar for one to be guilty of ziHar. The voice from our mouth is as loud as that from our actions; action speaks louder than words as they say.

But of course, vocalizing ziHar in whatever way one does will take precedence, and can be easily proven than acting ziHar towards one’s woman.

So it is enough that one treats one’s spouse in a manner that they feel that they are not prioritized. The Prioritization Test can be fulfilled whether or not the husband or man has another woman in mind, or just decrying the situation that he is in.

This is evident in the fact that though ‘Aws at the time he was saying all that he was saying did not mean it to divorce her, the punishment for making such pronouncement was still revealed, and he was expected to carry them out. If mere pronouncement was enough to run foul of ziHar, how much more when one acts it out in the way one treats their spouse.

I mean, she tried to leave the house, but he tried to stop her, so that she had to push him, him being old and all, and she had to go to a neighbor’s house to get cloths to wear so that she could go report the situation to the prophet pbuh. So his vocal declaration, wasn’t based on conviction, he was just frustrated at the time of the speech.

The use of the word ‘ziHar’ is also important in that Allah could have stated expressly that ‘the saying that your woman is like your mother’s back to you is wrong’, but Allah knows that that would be culture and era restrictive. So Allah used the word ziHar so that no matter the place and time, if a husband expresses to his woman what will qualify as ziHar as we’ve classically described above, it will be ziHar.

Perhaps, you’ve not noticed my use of ‘woman’ so far, but I will make it plain. So, on studying these verses on ziHar, I was faced with the question of can a wife do ziHar on or to her husband? And I feel that the answer are in the first and second verses of this surah. In that when Allah talked about the husband in V1, Allah referred to him as zawj (spouse), but when Allah talked about the wife in V2 and subsequently, Allah used the word Nisaa (woman) instead of zawj.

To refer to the husband as zawj, a spouse is true because as we will see when the prophet started stating the punishment from freeing a slave to fasting 60 days consecutively, she was in her husband’s corner and pleading on his behalf; so all she did was not because she wasn’t in love with him anymore, but she knew it can’t be right to treat one’s spouse the way he treated her. So to call him a spouse is true.

But in mentioning Nisaa instead of zawj, Allah is making it obvious that to the husband, at least during the time he was saying what he said, and having said what he said; she is now just a woman to him and not necessarily a spouse. And this breath was carried along in the verses that comes after it in that Allah said before the husband can touch her again, he would have to carry out the atonement, so in essence saying though she’s not been divorced, she’s not your spouse either – she is in a State of ZiHar.

But from a fiqh stand point, one can say that the choice of words was so expressed because of the circumstance of the case, and so if the man is on the receiving end, he’d be the man, and the woman would be the spouse. Perhaps there can even be a man and woman dynamic in which both parties have to execute the atonement to be able to leave the State of ZiHar.

For I think to limit ziHar to just when the husband declares it on his woman, may not only be unjust, but will also go against some rulings that were revealed with male pronouns, but still applies to both genders, and of all ages. And Allah knows best.

But we’ll leave that for the Judges and the scholars to decide, but here, now, let’s deal with the dynamic of husband and woman, which will then be the framework that can be used for every other dynamic that may come forth whether wife and man, or man and woman.

So, irrespective of language, literary expression, time, era, action, demeanor or state a husband expresses ziHar towards his woman, it will hold as such. And that is when she ‘rightfully’ feels, whether through the husband’s tongue or action, that she is being reduced to nothing, to being useless, to being ignored; in a manner that is tantamount to being divorced, then this is ziHar.

I wrote ‘rightfully’ above because, especially with actions, which can be ambiguous and equivocal, it has to be one that no other meaning can be derived from it other than ziHar. For instance, a poor husband cannot be expected to afford something beyond his means, and the wife decides that she is being ziHar-d, hence my use of ‘rightfully’.

Anyway, if she feels that she is just being carried along as cosmetic, and reduced to nothing in a way tantamount to divorce; if the said husband then decides to want to have his way with the said woman, the said husband must carry out one of the atonements outlined in the verses that follows.

If we go by the sabab (historical context) in which these verses were revealed, the said woman can even leave the house pending the time the matter is decided, and when it is decided, she may return to the house depending on the circumstances of the case, and pending the time he administers the atonement, he won’t be able to ‘touch’ her. We will get into details of what ‘touch’ means and entails in later works inshaAllah.

So, husbands, be careful, the ziHar-d woman’s voice is being heard by Allah. May Allah save us from declaring ziHar on our spouses knowingly or unknowingly. Amin. And may Allah make us loving and caring to our spouses. Amin.

Can a husband conclude that he has done ziHar on his spouse even if the spouse doesn’t know or agree that the said husband has done ziHar on her? Thus, must the wife be the one that declares ziHar has been done on her, or can someone else who has witnessed the ziHar being done declare ziHar? Answers to these questions and more are questions that will depend on the circumstances of the case.

I will continue with Munkar and Zuwr in the next piece inshaAllah.